Sunday, January 30, 2005
grumbles 'bout the weather again.. will she ever stop?
yesterday's temperatures were at a record-low of negative two fahrenheit. go figure the conversion to degrees celcius.
i took the opportunity of "no school" to explore the new york city subway system. the trains here and in nyc are a mess. because of the cold weather, my transit train to new york penn station was diverted to hobokken station in new jersey. i had to take an underground PATH train to cross the Hudson river into nyc. stopped at 33rd street, walked up one block to penn station. poked around for abit (tried to look like i knew what i was doing/ where i was headed) and then found the platforms for subway lines A, C and E. took i think a line E downtown to 14th street, got out, walked around the block in search of french class on 13th street, couldn't find it, took subway back uptown again with the intention of going to the natural history museum on 81st street. somehow i ended up travelling in the wrong direction downtown into Queens! argh!
got out a a dingy little station called "Elm's street", stood there like an idiot for AGES waiting for the train to arrive. (certain lines were delayed because of the cold)
got on the E train, accidentally overshot the station and travelled too far uptown to 125th street! Got off, changed platform, waited like a fool for the A train or C train, found out after 20 mins that both lines were suspended, then felt completely crappy. took some time to figure out what to do, then changed to the V line, went downtown to 42nd street, changed to B line and went uptown again, FINALLY alighting at the right stop at 81st steet!!!!
classic example of what happens when a clueless toot like me is left to navigated the subways on her own. managed to turn a 20 minute journey into a 2 hour long saga!
oh well. i did arrive at the museum in one piece. i did enjoy myself there. so much to see, so much to explore. my 3 hour visit didn't seem enough.
stumbled upon a tiny corner in the "Hall of Biodiversity" which featured bacteria, protiscts, algae and fungi. had fun reviewing my microbiology lectures and lab session there.
all in all, a day well spent. accomplished a fair bit, learnt more than a fair bit, had quite enough of the subway for at least one week. i'm takin' a break from the city lah.
planted @
1:02 AM
Monday, January 24, 2005
Oh the weather outside is frightful...
Well no. Not really. In fact, I quite enjoy negative twenty dC when I'm bundled up nice and warm in my ski suit (courtesy of my auntie), snow boots, ski gloves, wooly cap and scarf. You feel like a marshmallow, but at the same time, the cold can't quite get to you through the layers of fluffy protection. I enjoy this season because of the snow.
If you've been watching the news (CNN, naturally) lately, you'd know that a blustery winter snow storm's been blowing over the east coast. You'd also know about the horrifying "two feet deep" prediction that's been circulating the newsstands. What you might not know, is that my family does not own a snow plough but that my neighbour does. He's the owner of some soft drink company so he can afford his very own (very private) snow machine. He personally clears his driveway in the mornings. We always watch him (in envy) sweep sweep sweeping waist-high heavy whiteness onto the sidewalks at the turn of the key. We wish we had a snow plough too. My uncle nearly crashed his car into the garden wall swerving into our driveway. (he had momentarily lost control. Toyotas were never built for ploughing through two-feet-snow.) To get the snow plough guy to come and clear your drive way would set you back US$160. He charges 80 bucks for the left side of the road and another 80 for the right.
Traffic and transport problems aside (last night the governor forbade drivers from traveling the roads after 8pm), the snow's been good. I went sledding this morning with my cousins. My uncle drove us to a steep hill in South Orange overlooking the railway tracks. Apparently it was a very popular sledding spot because the rest of New Jersey had already hit the slopes by the time we got there. We each grabbed a boogie board and started eagerly uphill, impatient to reach the top so we could get started. The climb was more tiring than I'd expected. And I had to keep looking out for people sliding downhill at breakneck pace. Everywhere and all around, people were screaming "WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!" as they (literally) hurtled down the slope. I was scared, no bones about it.
It didn't take long for me to get going (get sledding) though, thanks to my uncle. He barely gave me enough time to catch my breath. Once we reached the top, he had already started yelling "GET ON! GO! Go! Go!" With no time enough for mental preparation of any sort, I found myself being pushed onto the boogie board and shoved downhill. So I just held my breath, half-closed my eyes and took the plunge...
And you know what? It wasn't so bad after all. I didn't hit anyone (people avoided me for their lives’ sake) and the initial exhilarating speedy rush eventually slowed to a halt at the bottom of the slope. I was high! What a phenomenal experience!
Five times I climbed up and five times I slid down. After my fifth climb, hauling my boogie board along with me, I made a mental note to suggest the installation of ski/sled lifts to make the overall sledding experience much more enjoyable for the public. Thank you.
And if you think I was a wuss for not going the sixth time, I suggest you try climbing up that slope (slippery, snowy and sink-y shaky) yourself with a sled in tow. I'd salute you if you could make it upslope on the fifth try without waving the white flag.
planted @
6:08 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
first day at school!
wasn't exactly the happiest place in the world to be, but you know. it's new york city and it's winter.
got yelled at on the PATH train on the way to school. what a way to start the day eh? she was shouting and looking damn pissed with me "DON'T TOUCH ME! don't come near me, don't hold on to me." sheesh. now ive seen for myself just how suspicious everyone is of everyone else. my aunt said that robberies and theft are common on the trains but give me a break! i was standing in a sea of people, with no handbar nearby to cling on to. the ride was jerky. so i stumbled and grabbed your shoulder. so what?!? do i look like a mugger to you?
so that kinda ruined my morning. and im still upset cos she still didnt trust me even after i apologised so many times! how many sorries do you want?
that nasty incident aside, the rest of the day wasnt too bad. my british writers class was kinda boring. the instructor just gave a brief intro to the syllabus and then ended class 45 mins early. with nothing to do for an hour, i decided to hang out in the library.
outside the buildings, biting cold, bitter wind, runny noses and not a familiar face in sight.
the thing about winter in the states is that outdoors is freezing but indoors is like a furnace. they tend to overheat their buildings. and it gets giddying (headache-inducing) when you are constantly moving in and out of buildings. hot, cold, hot cold. it's a wonder im not sick yet.
bio lecture was on microbiology in another building. it got tiring having to peel off and put on layers so i remained seated in the auditorium with three thick ones on for close to two hours. before long, my body's homeostatic response to the overkill began sending out warning signals. hot! hot! hot! but i was surrounded by an entire audi full of impatient, slightly irritated students who (like me) were anxious to get out. so i just sat put and suffered in silence. (heh i can picture mrs foo shaking her head and going tsk tsk)
french class was by far the most enjoyable class today. it was structured. it was elementary. it was fun (i got to do a recap of all the basic greetings and interact somewhat with my classmates). i actually found comfort in the teacher's strict, no-nonsense attitude. it felt like i was back in sec school again, where the teacher had to lay down the ground rules, talk about homework submission, class policies and stuff like that.
i like rules. they bring structure to an unstructured, floaty university life. they set boundaries. they tell me what i can and cannot do. they make me feel safe.
planted @
5:51 AM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
bottoms up! my posts are not running in chronological order from top to bottom. unless you enjoy reading random events, i suggest you scroll down to my first post today and read from bottom to top. happy reading, happy scrolling. cheers!
*********************************************************************************
jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water..
lovelovelovelovelove. absolutely love skiing. took an hour's drive from hanover inn to the dartmouth skiiway further up north, but still in the state of new hampshire. the lesson was an hour-long and my ski instructor was named "Boo".
heheh. 'me and you and a dog named boo..."
great welly wellingtons! bless my sole! ski boots are not the easiest things in the world to put on. i had so much trouble stuffing my fat feet into them. huffed and puffed and worked myself up into a reddish flustered state. not a pretty sight. my left foot (the first to go in) got stuck half-way and my uncle was standing there yelling at me to "PUSH! push harder! what are you going to give up now? PUSH em all the way!" felt as though i was going through labour.
thankfully, once the ski boots were on and i had collected my skiis, the hardest part of the lesson was over. first i learnt to walk in my skiis like a flip-flapping duck, then Boo got me to slide around almost level ground to get a feel of the movement. i learnt to "do a Wedge!" with my knees to ski downslope, and then flip-flap back upslope with my skiis in the opposite shape.
before i knew it, i was riding on the j-lift to the top of the 'bunny' slopes, which were supposed to be the gentlest, chicken-est slopes around, but to me seemed like incredibly slippery steepness. i practiced skiing downhill, making large sideway turns and then found myself stuck midway. (being only halfway up the slope, i was neither up nor down.) what a curious fairytale-turned-nightmarish nursery rhyme! in the end Boo had to come up and get me and escort me down. i managed to do it, actually. i think i was just too scared to try skiing down on my own. just needed more confidence and a bit of encouragement.
meanwhile, my cousins were happily skiing away on the blue slopes (steep, near-vertical drops. insane if you ask me!) with narry a care (or fear) in the world. being young, they were break-a-leg, break-a-neck reckless. and alex, by nature, was always a daredevil of sorts.
just watching them sent shivers up my spine.
i did eventually fall down. it happened on my second attempt to ski down the bunny slopes. for a few terrifying moments, i was dragged downhill feet-first thanks to my heavy skiis. i couldnt stop. but you know what? after screaming like mad and flailing about like a fish out of water, (incurring many incredulous stares from parents and their kiddies) i did eventually stop sliding from sheer friction.
jack fell down and broke his crown and jill came tumbling after.
i got up and continued skiing (with a little help from Boo of course!) as though nothing happened.
the important lesson ive learnt from all of this surprisingly has nothing to do with my falling down and getting up again. it has to do with encouragement, and positive words. it has to do with a ski instructor who was so incredibly patient, good-natured and encouraging, i couldn't help but feel a little taller after his class.
only words that build up, never words that tear down. that's how i want my lips to move.
planted @
6:01 AM
oh what fun it is to ride in an eight-dog open sled!
went dog sledding on monday (martin luther kind junior day). as usual, i was obsessing over the cold and feeling so so inadequately dressed with only three layers of clothing and no thermal underwear. temp was comfortably below zero. we drove for an hour and a half into the woody areas of the wilderness through the snow until we came to a little blue house by the roadside and saw an entire open kennel of dogs!
stepping out of the car, i felt stuck in a permanent state of frosted rigidity. frigid digits. now i knew how himalayan rabbit genes (the ones inhibiting black pigment formation) can become inactivated by the cold. the body's extremeties show warning signs. granted, black patches of fur on rabbit ear tips and paw tips look cute, but frostbite on YOUR toes and fingers ain't cute, no sir!
i sympathise with all arctic wildlife. i feel your pain.
freakish cold aside, the ride was fun and surprisingly smooth! even when we went over rocks of ice and stone, we felt narry a bump. the dogs were phenomenal runners. i heard from the husband and wife dynamic duo who kept the sled dog business running, that they had gone on a 100 mile race the week before. phew! talk about sore paws!!
some of the dogs had to wear booties to help pad their feet from the rough ground. yet another case of absolute cuteness and (cruel irony!) unbearable pain!
the only regret i had from this trip was the lack of photo-taking for most part. when the wind blows, your face freezes over and numbs to a nail-biting OUCH. sorry lah. no sensation, no fingers, no camera. no photos.
planted @
5:33 AM
in everything i do, in every word i say, i will praise you and give all glory to your name.
have been away from computers and the internet for some time now. over the weekend, my uncle took his family and me up to New Hampshire to stay on Dartmouth campus. it was a less than thrilling six hour drive up from New Jersey, but i must note that the time and effort was worth it.
campus was smaller than i'd expected. rings of brick and stone buildings nestled close together around the central field (fondly known as 'the Green' by Dartmouth students old and new). a very pretty little campus town, with far too many places for food! on the drive up, peering out of the car window, i could visibly see the countryside landscape changing. (as the snow got thicker and thicker, the temperature dipped lower and lower) negative 20 dC would be a reasonable estimate.
hot chocolate and fluffy warm croissants over breakfast never tasted so good.
met the daughter of my aunt's friend who drove up to dartmouth with us. devika (or deedee as her little brother affectionately called her) was almost the exact opposite of me. extremely chatty, outgoing, sociable, fun-loving and friendly's how i remember her. she brought me into her apartment, where we sat and chatted about the school in general over a cup of tea. then she brought me around campus for a tour and even crashed me into one of the first year dorms so that i could take a look around to see what it was like. i thought: hmm. nice, small, cosy. just like campus in general. the only downside was that the individual dorms didnt have private bathrooms. ohwell. mass bathing!
i somehow didnt quite click with dee and her friends. things were kinda cold around the table once i'd run out of questions for them.. guess im not their type (too serious/ shy/ quiet). looking at the way people all around campus seemed to know each other, i couldnt help feeling rather alone and friend-less cos i didnt know anyone. an alien in a foreign land. i'm still trying to figure: could i have felt otherwise?
change has to start with me.. i've got to become more like them in order to be accepted. otherwise i'd be a social outcast and i'd never fit in. change. never easy (esp since it would be going against my nature to open up more) but absolutely essential. it's like sitting down to dinner with people you don't really know. friend of a friend of a friend's. you've got to appear nice and smiley and chatty.. ask questions.. joke.. take jokes.. look interested.. listen to stories.. tell stories.. gossip a little.. even if you don't feel like talking or even if you feel crappy on the inside.
i might even have to change the way i speak (my accent?), the way i interact with people. i've noticed how some people actually switch accents when talking with different groups of people. i guess there's no harm in that if it makes everyone feel comfortable. but can i speak with an american accent? no. so i believe that i you can't do it, don't do it. otherwise you'd end up sounding really fake. and that's the worst thing to be.
this weekend, courtesy of devika, i've gained a sort of insider's view to campus life. visited dee's sorority house (theta house) which was a rather scary eye-opener. beer cups all over the place, leftovers from the drinking game the evening before. wall murals.. naked people riding on bulls, waving beer mugs.. monsters in the woods.. wasn't quite sure how to read them. art? creative expression? i just got a sense of "something's not right" about theta house. this is, of course, just personal opinion.
after struggling with the question of to join or not to join (more than 50% of the student pop is in a frat or a sorority) i've decided that i'm not going to join a greek society. it is good fun, i know. a good opportunity to meet more people and form make more friends, to bond over sorority trips out of campus, BUT. there's always the danger of mixing with people who don't share the same values as i do. the sorority's influence can be overpowering and intrusive. i may feel compelled to do as my "sisters" do.. i could of course, throw all caution to the wind and go wild at late-night parties.. drink.. flirt.. schmooze.. whatever. but i will not because i DO NOT worship beer, or over-the-top partying for that matter. i have to keep reminding myself that my body is the temple of the holy spirit. call me a prude, but if i'm going to call myself a child of God, then i'm saving all of myself for him. and im not going to be a hypocrite about it. made a decision and i'm going to stick by it.
"everything is permissible for me"- but not everything is beneficial.
"everything is permissible for me"- but i will not be mastered by anything.
1 cor 6:12
and that is the truth.
planted @
4:25 AM
Friday, January 14, 2005
hoohoo. feel cranky today. don't feel like blogging. tired. spent the day shopping at the "jersey hills" mall which is a huge factory store about ten times the size of a typical heartland mall in spore. walked, looked at stuff, tried on stuff, got a slight headache, bought stuff and walked somemore. too many things to see, too little time to try and buy. stress. sometimes too much choice can be painful. arghgrrww. i think it can all be summed up with one word: jetlag.
planted @
6:42 AM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
so many things to share, i don't know where to start. heh. welly well, to make some sense of the nonsense (bundle of stuff in my head), i think it's best to "begin at the beginning!" by right royal decree!
changi airport: fish, xiaoen, gill, grandpa, grandma, gu gu and parents sent me off. felt very blessed to have so many people waving goodbye to me at the departure gates. thought i would be sad but strangely, i felt a sense of calm assurance that id see them soon and that everything would go well. i knew that God was going to be with me all the way and that knowledge helped banish the sense of loneliness that had haunted me for a number of nights prior to my flight.
on the plane: the seats were wider than normal, there was more than ample legroom and the cabin was, in general, more spacious than normal. the row i was seated at had a seating arrangement of 2-2-2 (that is, two seats on the left, two in the middle and two on the right) so the aisle space was extremely comfortable. the food was ok, not fantastic but the inflight entertainment was phenomenal! i watched in total about six movies, though not back-to-back. lemme see.. there was de-lovely, wimbledon, love actually, i (heart) hucklebees, the village, dodgeball.. the hucklebees show was sooo funny! it was a comedy-satire of two extreme schools of philosophical thought: nilhism and existentialism. the entire movie revolved around a pro-green, pro-environment idealist who got really screwed up by the two existential detectives he hired (a married couple who go around solving other people's life questions). such a pity it didnt play in singapore.
new york city! after a night of intermittent rest, i was up and out of the house and shown around downtown manhatten by my uncle. took a train from shorthills new jersey to hoboken station downtown and then transferred to a subway-like train called the "PATH". the acronyms stand for something but nobody knows what. walked from the station at 9th street to washington square garden, the literal epicentre of new york university. we wandered around the park border trying to find my class locations but ended up getting nowhere so in the end my uncle had to call his brother in-law to ask for directions. uncle jon (or jon as he would have me call him) was friendlier and nicer than i expected. he personally brought us around campus and sneaked us into the 'student and faculty only' buildings. visited the college bookstore and saw (gape!) almost an entire level dedicated to selling nyu merchandise. sweater anyone?
tucked in to a hearty lunch of cheese-coated hamburger at your typical ny diner. ended up eating two-thirds of the beef patty, a handful of fries and some of the salad but left the buns and the coleslaw untouched. my uncle insisted that it was 'perfectly normal' not to finish everything on the plate. no kidding! neither one of the two (uncle neal and jon) managed to finish their lunch.
waited for a good half-hour at starbucks for my uncle to settle some personal matters, during which i flipped through a copy of "USA Today", a very general newspaper for the US's very general public. was horrified to learn that americans across the country were fed a mere half-page of international news everyday. the rest of the paper read domestic news, with extensive coverage on the recent California Deluge (domestic tragedy of the year) and on US politics (didnt care to read too much into detail on that. some annoying mr. smartypants from harvard business school wrote a long article citing all the buiness lessons mr. bush should re-learn in order to run his administration better... not an uncommon observation actually... some people are fast when it comes to pointing fingers, but invisible when it comes down to actually effecting their proposed idealisms.
the sole article covering (i shouldnt even be using that word) the tsunami disaster revolved around the heroics of the US troops in Banda Acheh delivering aid to the indonesian people from the sky. bah humbug.
planted @
10:44 AM
Monday, January 10, 2005
heh. felt like doing a little poetry. wrote a bit on a subject that i feel strongly about. hope i don't offend anyone.
planted @
8:36 PM
Rafters
On and on and ever onward,
Stronger currents sweep away.
Bound by timeless laws which govern
And bid us surely to obey.
Man's eternal drift dictated,
No more, no less,
No ties, no rest
Along the way.
When and where and why and how?
Which direction?
I don't know.
After all,
All else won't matter.
Random movement brought us here
And randomly we'll fade away.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Some strayed,
Self-forayed.
Some lost sight of land
And others simply rode the crests,
From wave to bigger wave,
Till tide met rock
In an instant.
I mourn for those
Who've lost their way.
And so much more
For those who've stopped searching
For land altogether.
Someone had already
Paved the way to shore.
He went ahead of them
And called to them to follow.
But they could neither see
Nor hear him.
And they ignored
Crying seagulls
All around.
planted @
8:21 PM
ohoh! that day has finally come! i'm blogging just for the sake of blogging!
nothing much to say. pre-flight day, i'm packing, i'm making phone calls, i'm checking my mail, i'm waiting. waiting for the action and excitement Tomorrow holds. can't help feeling like i'm wasting so much time just waiting...
planted @
2:35 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005
realised today
just how much i'd miss
those around me that i'd taken
forgranted.
held them tight,
cried a little.
talk simply
took on new meaning.
i never drew so much pleasure
from just being present
and enjoying their company.
o lord have i finally learnt to appreciate?
planted @
11:54 PM
Saturday, January 08, 2005
first thing's first.
our musical, our very own 100% original, self-composed, choreographed and directed musical was a roaring success! granted, the afternoon show at 3pm drew a very miserable response from the audience, but the 7pm show more than made up for it!!! i guess it was the pre-show high and backstage excitement that really pumped the energy level up! somewhere in between rushing on and off stage with props and peering behind the side curtains waiting for my cue, i caught a glimpse of something so touching and so precious. i felt that we were all in this together, giving our all and really glorifying God through the songs and the acting. i felt that we really lived up to the musical's name, "Giant Faith" cos it was exactly our giant faith that brought us through the initial depressing stages of coordination, jigsaw puzzling, composing and choreography. it wasn't easy, but because we wanted so much to do this and to see this thing through to the end, God provided. He provided us with everything we needed. People we hardly knew extended their help. Our parents lent us full support, despite the long hours of practice and preparation. From everywhere and all around, help came. And not by coincidence too! I believe that God personally directed our musical from start to finish. And all the glory goes to Him!
came back, sat down at the computer and saw that i had email from my uncle. he sounded unusually excited. said that his entire family was counting down to my arrival in NJ. phew! things are happening so fast! just yesterday i sat down to lunch with some old familiar faces. mich lim, jane, jac, nat and vanessa. people i hadn't seen since the last class gathering 6 months back? time sprints along and doesn't stop to wait for anyone. people around you grow up. they look for jobs and start working. i'm still clinging on to school. still can't believe that part of life for me is over... not quite ready to grow up yet.
planted @
10:46 PM
Monday, January 03, 2005
yay! today we (dad and i) set up a new wireless network connection for my dellywelly. now i can enjoy cable-free internet access from the comfort of home/school. my only worry is that i'll have to go through the entire setup process on my own in the states cos dad won't be around to help. three cheers for dell! they delivered within 5 working days from my date of purchase. heheh! they've just found a new loyal customer..
planted @
10:41 AM
Saturday, January 01, 2005
hooboy! the last time i updated this blog was rather loong ago soo.
spent most part of yesterday catching up with clarence. we met for lunch and then yakked for an amazing four hours! but it was good. he's just back from france. went on another exchange/ immersion programme (this time in an even uluer part of france called Antine) and then met his parents in Paris and stayed there for another two weeks. total length of stay: one month, from the day of his chem s paper. made yours truly jealous that he did!
planted @
6:53 PM
