Monday, February 27, 2006
Who should be
King of my heart?
Captain of my life?
Pride says: "I"
But my spirit confesses:
"Jesus Christ".
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Mathew 5:3
Pride and Self-Reliance,
Once twin pillars of strength
Now lie broken before my servant King.
Your presence fills the place,
Your grace overwhelms me.
In your presence,
There is no longer any room for "I".
planted @
6:51 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
There's something about the way dogs behave when they see rabbits.
I saw a small jack russel terrier today who had spotted a neighbour's rabbit sniffing
around the outside of its house (it had escaped without anyone else noticing).
That dog had a decidedly hungry look.
I could feel his muscles slowly tensing, tail stiffening, powered by an urge to catch and kill.
The intensity of his stare was scary.
I think if I were the rabbit I would have died of fright on the spot.
In fact, staring might actually belie a kind of animal heirarchy.
Smaller animals and relatively defenseless animals (eg. rabbits and sheep) are literally "frozen in terror" when stared at by more powerful animals (eg. dogs).
On the other hand, my dog knows he can't win me in a staring competition.
(We actually did have one. it lasted almost half-an-hour but I won in the end. He looked away. Couldn't keep it up.)
Which brings me back to a theme that's been playing in my head - What sets the Observer apart from the Observed? Who (or what) decides who dominates? And what drives the reproduction of popular ideas concerning political relationships? Why do existing power structures remain? What does it take to break out of a self-reinforcing heirarchy?
In animal politics, the hunter always has the upper hand. He stares because he has no fear; he stares just because he can.
The studied subject, however, has no such claim to power. He is watched from a distance under the scrutiny of an invisible eye; he is seen but does not see.
And all the while Instinct sounds the alarm to Be Aware!
To Beware!
He looks over his shoulder again and again,
But sees only rippling grass.
planted @
9:42 AM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Sometimes retarded is the way to go!
It's the antithesis to anything remotely intelligent.
But it sure makes a good antidote to pre-holiday stress.
Merry midsemester one and all!
Go Jerk it Out.
planted @
4:58 PM
Friday, February 17, 2006
It has been a tough week.
So many things came together all at once I thought I would have barely time to breathe.
It isn't all over yet because I still have an unfinished paper to write and a mid-sem test to study for.
But I'm thankful.
God has been so gentle with me.
He has made time for me when there seemed to be no time.
It's true.
Your love endures forever,
Reaches to the heavens.
Though my flesh may fail me,
You're the strength of my heart.
You will always be.
planted @
8:15 AM
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Isn't it ironic.
She's now officially "deceased" and what do they do?
They put her in Life!
Props to you popo Mak!
I wouldn't be surprised if this morphs into the joke-of-the-day at the wake.
And I suspect you'll be laughing along with us.
planted @
11:30 AM
They interviewed them.
They weren't there everyday when she was so sick.
They weren't there when she passed away.
Ask me and i will tell you the backstory.
What about her real caregivers?
Surely they of all people deserve mention.
I'm disappointed.
planted @
9:02 AM
Friday, February 10, 2006
I must give thanks for the wonderful time of fellowship over ice blended coffee and cai fan.
It isn't every day you sit down and have a good, long talk with your cg mates. I really thank God for their openness to share their personal experiences, their highs and lows in their walk with God.
It was then that I realized how God has blessed me with such strong pillars of faith around me. I can only pray that He'll use me as a blessing and encouragement to them, just as much as they have been to me.
I've been reminded again of how God is my God and how I should be seeking to align my plans for the future with His plans for me. I want to keep in step with You. I want to daily dwell in Your presence. I want to be rooted in Your word. O Lord give me the grace to be strong in You regardless the circumstance. I don't want a faith that wavers at the slightest sign of rain. I want a faith planted firmly in Your word and in Your promise to be with me.
You are the God of my salvation, the rock on which I stand.
I trust in You all day long
Because I know You are faithful.
You are with me to the end.
Be with me Lord
And I will be like a tree
Planted by streams of water;
I will not fear when the drought comes.
planted @
12:24 AM
Salvation belongs to our God
Who sits upon the throne
And unto the lamb
Praise and Glory,
Wisdom and Thanks,
Honour and Power and Strength
Be to our God forever and ever (X3)
Amen.
And we the redeemed shall be strong
In purpose and unity
Declaring aloud:
Praise and Glory,
Wisdom and Thanks,
Honour and Power and Strength
planted @
12:21 AM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
The Lord has taken my grandauntie home.
Thank you for praying :)
Continue to pray for my mother, grandmother,my grandauntie's close friend auntie D and her maid. They were the ones who took care of her when she was sick and encouraged her with their presence. They are the ones who will miss her the most.
planted @
9:40 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
This is my tribute to you.
I remember how you were always the life of the party.
You were always laughing and smiling.
You loved the company of friends,
And family.
You loved to sing.
Your voice was beautiful,
Beautiful in the way only you knew how.
You sang with your heart,
With all your strength.
I used to marvel at the power of your lungs
How it was possible to hold a note for so long.
You were a loud, gusty alto
With a beautiful voice.
I remember how I was so proud of you
When you sang at the wedding,
At my dad's birthday
And mine.
You wore the most beautiful kebaya
Embroidered
Flowers in your hair
Shiny brooch
Sequined slippers.
You were stunning.
Now I flip through old program booklets.
I remember your productions,
The way you got so excited over them.
You loved the stage
And why not?
You loved to sing
At every opportunity you could
You were born to entertain.
Glossy pages
With colour that never fades.
I remember I was so proud of you
When you recorded your first CD -
Your first and last.
You were my rock star.
I was so proud of you
And still am.
I guess I never really got to know you
As well as I would have liked to.
We lived in very different worlds.
But in your own way
You did love me.
Now I can only watch you
From the side
I can't even hold you
Because you're too weak sit up
I can't even hold you
And hug you
And say the words
I want to say to you
I love you
Even if I haven't demonstrated
How much.
I don't know if you saw me
You were in so much pain.
And I could only watch you
From the side.
There are so many things I cannot do.
I cannot suffer on your behalf
I cannot tremble
I cannot shake
I cannot grit my teeth in silent agony.
I cannot vomit
Over and over and over again.
I cannot bleed.
I cannot scream for you for help
In the middle of the night.
I cannot feel the pain that you feel
When your organs shut down one by one.
I cannot bear your cancer.
I can only pray for you
Shed tears for you
Cry out to God
To finish your suffering,
To ease your pain,
To take you home soon
In His mercy.
O Lord my God, I called to you for help
And you healed me.
O Lord, you brought me up
From the grave,
YOu spared me from going down into the pit.
Sing to the Lord, you saints of his;
Praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
But his favor lasts a lifetime;
Weeping may remain for a night,
But rejoicing comes in the morning.
planted @
10:09 PM
Friday, February 03, 2006
How can i stand before you, Lord
When i am a sinner?
In need of your mercy
In need of your saving grace
Draw me nearer to you
In the warmth of your embrace
Surrounded by your abounding love
I will be one with you again
Under the banner of your love i stand
And i'm so humbled and amazed
That for me you sent your son to die
So now i'm saved just by your grace
And your amazing love compels my heart
Jesus this is what i pray
May i die to self and live for you
Who died and rose again
Now i can stand before you, Lord
Though i am a sinner
You poured out your mercy
You poured out your saving grace
Now i can be near you
In the warmth of your embrace
Surrounded by your abounding love
I am at one with you again
planted @
9:20 AM
