I exhausted myself today on the bus, off the bus, over dinner, after dinner, thinking too many thoughts.
It was one of those rare moments where I was fully aware of overactivity up there but unable to will myself to block out everything.
I contended with my parents for four straight hours, going through everything over and over again.
WhywhatwhenhowWHERE.
Have been struggling with this decision for more than "a few months" now and it's eating away everyone's soul, including mine.
It's all we think of, all the time.
But I thank you Lord for giving me this stuggle. It hasn't been easy. The years ahead (as far as I can see) won't be easy. But what's amazing is that you give me a song to sing always.
If you had given me an easy road to travel, if you had removed choice and replaced it with straightforward conformity, I would never have grown so much or learnt so much.
You are the God who opens doors and I love you.
You make a way for me in the wilderness. You guide me in your plan.
I will go to nus because:
- I have learnt the meaning of love.
It's all about sacrifice.
I remember, Lord.
Cutting right through layers and layers of burning ambition, overwhelming selfishness, ravenous desire for moremoreMORE.
You've revealed it to me so suddenly I will never forget.
Thank you for showing me what has surrounded me for these past months- Love.
